Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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