I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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