dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize