You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
