Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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