Kiss
Puke
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize