if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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