**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
