The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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