If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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