you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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