so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
