Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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