was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
