Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
