you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
