it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
