mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize