I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
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She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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