I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
