I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
