We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
