so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
