it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
