it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
