I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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