it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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