it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
