margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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