can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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