the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.