and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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