that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
