please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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