Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize