im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
