ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize