I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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