i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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