I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
