It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
