Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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