May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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