He asked me if I "almost moaned"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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