I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize