Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
