Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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