Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
