The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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