let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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