Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
