Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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