Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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