I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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