It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize