tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
that may or may not have been my penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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