So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
